Thursday, April 26, 2012

Back On the Wagon!

Oy.

That didn't go so well.

Just when I thought I had a handle on my emotional eating, I got kicked in the teeth by my own self-pity. I'm still not quite ready to share this with the whole world (meaning I'm not ready to leave the house with my head uncovered), but here's a snap-shot of the source of my self-pity:
This photo shows a little less than half of my total hair-loss. In fact, in just over two months I have lost about 50% (maybe more) of my hair. And what hair I do have left has changed texture, and is prone to matting. I wake up with dreadlocks every morning. Two days ago, I actually took a pair of scissors and chopped off about four or five inches, so it's now a fair bit shorter than it was in this photo.

Blah, blah, blah. Enough about my freaky head. This was supposed to be a post about getting a grip on my food intake.

I've decided to jump back into a Whole15(ish). I'm going to eat the way I did on my Whole30, at least until my parents arrive to celebrate Music Man's birthday next month. I know it will be hard with them here because we often go out to eat, but even when we do I'll just stick to meat and veggies. (I just won't fret about what kind of cooking oils they use.)

I'm currently 4lbs away from my next mini weight-loss goal. I've been hovering around 122lbs, mostly because I went back to eating some absolute GARBAGE. (Seriously. Mini KitKat bites? They're not even GOOD.) I would really love to see 118 on the scale, and here's why: The second time I did Weight Watchers was when Music Man was a baby. Just before his first birthday, I got down to 138lbs and was overjoyed to be at my lowest-ever adult weight. I think it would be amazing to see a number twenty pounds less than that. :)

After that (assuming I get there), my goal is to put away the scale, and focus on my measuring tape instead. I've started working out with Bob Harper's Inside Out collection of DVDs, and they're kicking. my. butt. daily. Love it. I'm already seeing a difference in the definition in my arms! I'd love to shrink my mid-section by a few more inches, and (if I can dream) shrink my upper thighs by a few more as well.

The plan is to return to blogging here more to keep me accountable. Feel free to nag. (Thanks Alexis!) :)

5 comments:

  1. I know that took a lot of courage to post the photo of your hair. I wish I knew answers or had suggestions to help you with what I know is an embarrassing situation, mostly, I just hope you can find some answers to help with it. Good luck with reintroducing your Whole 30 plan back into your life, I read every single day you were on it last time and your vibe was very outgoing and positive. :-) Here's to seeing the number you want to see very soon! :-)

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  2. Isn't it funny when those treats taste so bad!? Sometimes they are so not worth the calories or the grief. Usually at church functions... I take one bite of something sweet as a treat and I can instantly tell that was so not worth what it is doing to my body... now Easter chocolate (Good chocolate...) That was worth it!!! Pigging out on a good big dinner on the otherhand... so worth it :)

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  3. Please be careful, Jaclyn. Unless you are under five feet tall, you do NOT need to be 118 pounds. You are thin enough! I think it is great that you are exercising and have found a way of healthy eating that works for you, but please don't go overboard. I know that I am easily triggered by things that hint at over-dieting (I just made that term up), but my alarm bells are going off here. Being so strict with yourself is not worth it - I've been there. A glass of wine or piece of chocolate will not ruin your body. Depriving it is not a good long term solution.

    I hope that this comment doesn't cause you to hate me and ban me forever! It comes from a place of love.

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  4. Rebecca, I don't hate you - I appreciate your concern, and it's *obvious* it comes from a loving place. Honestly, I *do* have more "weight" (fat) to lose. My waist measurement is still far from the healthy range. I don't think of myself as fat - in fact when I look in the mirror, I'm impressed by what I've been able to accomplish, especially AFTER having three kids. But I know that my health and mobility (especially with my joint problems) will benefit by a little less weight and a little more strength. That being said, I *have* spoken to several people who are very close to me, and told them to keep an eye on me - if they think I'm going over-board, they're under strict instructions to call me out. And I totally agree that a glass of wine or a piece of chocolate isn't going to ruin anything. I can't imagine a life WITHOUT those things. But there's a big difference between a square or two of really good dark chocolate, and an entire bag of Mini Rolos from the dollar store. (Yup. Ate that.) I just need to get a grip on the *emotional* eating, so having one treat doesn't turn into a landslide of crap-consumption.

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  5. Hi, Jac.
    This is Sandra Kelly at The Simply Inspired Life. Thank you so much for commenting on my blog. My heart hurt as I read it. I sincerely believe that God is using my hair loss to connect with others through it and while I genuinely dislike using cliche's, I also genuinely believe that He can bring beauty in the midst of your pain and disappointment, too. Being a woman and dealing with that just sucks sometimes. Thanks for sharing your heart with me and know that you're not alone! It is still hard for me some days, but I continue to have hope. Hang in there. So glad you found me.

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