Friday, January 4, 2013

Retail Therapy

Normally when people talk about retail therapy, they mean the very act of shopping and buying things makes them happy. For me, that usually only works when I'm shopping in a thrift store - the thrill of the hunt is so much more gratifying there than in Old Navy.

The day after I miscarried, I went to get dressed and realized that with the exception of some stretchy skirts, the only things I owned that would fit my lower half were maternity clothes. I just couldn't bring myself to wear those stretchy, up-to-my-armpit pants as a reminder that I was no longer pregnant. I just couldn't do it. I figured I'd just wear my skirts for a few weeks until things start to fit again.

But my husband, amazing man that he is, insisted on taking me out and buying me some new jeans that fit properly. Amazing what a difference some jeans can make! I get to wear a belt again. I don't have to deal with a reminder of the lost baby every time I get dressed. Totally therapeutic.

Now here's the second part of this story - the jeans I bought are two sizes bigger than the last pair I bought in the summer. I was buying size two before, these ones are a six. I realize that's totally not a big deal, but it is a reflection of how much my body has changed in the past several months. I wish I could chalk all of it up to 12 weeks of pregnancy, but the reality is that I'd gained weight and stopped working out long before conceiving.

I want to be kind to myself - body and soul - so I'm not on any crazy quest to beat my body back to a certain size in an insane amount of time. But I know that eating really well and doing a moderate amount of exercise got me to that place once, and I'm hopeful that doing the same thing again will yield the same results. But if it doesn't work out, and my size 2s never fit again, I'll still keep eating really well and exercising*, because I deserve that.

*We just bought Just Dance 3 for the Wii, and I've never had so much fun working up a sweat! Plus it's something Francis and I can do together, and it makes us LAUGH. Two enthusiastic thumbs up.

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