I whine, I complain, I try harder, I slip up, then I pretend I don't understand why the scale isn't moving.
Then I read this article, and I realized all the ways I'm not helping myself lose any weight.
Too much stress (mostly from sleeplessness), needing to watch my carbs more closely, building muscle, not really succeeding with IF, probably eating too much at meals, probably approaching my body's happy weight, not enough sleep, not enough willpower, and definitely not sprinting.
Oh, and my own personal bonus reason: Still breastfeeding. I have no objection to nursing as long as mom and baby are still happy with it, but I'm not happy with it. Baby Belle is nearing 16 months, and I've been either pregnant, breastfeeding, or breastfeeding while pregnant for over five years. I'm done. (Problem is, I know she needs to be weaned gently, and that won't really be possible until my husband is off for summer vacation to help.) I suspect that my body is retaining a small amount of extra body fat as insurance while breastfeeding.
Whatever my reasons, I'm pretty sure the scale is not going to make me smile tomorrow. Meh, whatever. I was definitely sticking closer to my plan this week than I had been in weeks gone by, so I'm happy with that. Yes, I ate a gluten-free cupcake at the church picnic today. (I certainly didn't need it, but I wanted to test the results of my new recipe!)
I know I need to try harder this week, because the shorts I'm wearing today fit differently than they did a month or two ago - and not in a good way. What I need to do is plan in advance for the times I want to "splurge", and keep it strict the rest of the time. With a double-reception wedding coming up on Saturday, I think my "splurges" have been planned for me!
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Friday, June 8, 2012
*shrugs*
Did I say I was going to log all my food here? Oops. It's been a non-stop week, and I've barely had time to put the food in my mouth, let alone write down what it is!
Baby Belle got four new teeth in three days. Four teeth. In three days. She went from three to seven teeth with much wailing and gnashing of the afore-mentioned teeth.
Three straight days of play dates. Wednesday was one with a dear friend whom I don't see nearly as often as I'd like. Yesterday I babysat two of my friend's children so she could run errands with just the youngest. And today, my mother-in-law, sister-in-law and her three boys came to play.
This weekend I have to make a 200-serving cake for the church picnic. Next weekend I have to do two small wedding cakes. I am a little out of practice, ever since I decided I was just too busy and had to put my business on the back burner.
But in the midst of all the craziness, I got to do something really fun last night. A friend of mine - we'll call her J - is learning photography, and as part of a workshop she's taking she got several hours of time in a well-stocked photography studio. Last night she was going to take maternity photos of our friend S, and asked if I would come along as one of her assistants. Talk about FUN! I got to hold the light reflector thingy, help make suggestions for posing, even help with propping some photos.
(I won't post any of those pictures here since they are neither my work nor my image, but I'll say this: They are gorgeous. I really believe my friend has a future in the photography business!)
So as to make the most of her time in the studio, whenever S was changing outfits, myself and the other assistant would pose for some fun photos, just for added practice for J. The results were funny, but well photo-graphed!
It was really significant for me, since there aren't many photos of me from the past year. The biggest collection is from Baby Belle's baptism, at which point I weighed about 30 - 35lbs more than I do now. I've lost track of what I actually look like now, and it's easy to forget about what I've actually accomplished in my weight-loss goals. I too often get caught up in what I'd still like to work on, and forget to celebrate having lost all my pregnancy weight plus an extra 25lbs! Seeing the photos she took helped to remind me that I've come a long way, and I'm actually looking pretty good - even while I wait to lose 10 more pounds and have my hair grow back! :)
Baby Belle got four new teeth in three days. Four teeth. In three days. She went from three to seven teeth with much wailing and gnashing of the afore-mentioned teeth.
Three straight days of play dates. Wednesday was one with a dear friend whom I don't see nearly as often as I'd like. Yesterday I babysat two of my friend's children so she could run errands with just the youngest. And today, my mother-in-law, sister-in-law and her three boys came to play.
This weekend I have to make a 200-serving cake for the church picnic. Next weekend I have to do two small wedding cakes. I am a little out of practice, ever since I decided I was just too busy and had to put my business on the back burner.
But in the midst of all the craziness, I got to do something really fun last night. A friend of mine - we'll call her J - is learning photography, and as part of a workshop she's taking she got several hours of time in a well-stocked photography studio. Last night she was going to take maternity photos of our friend S, and asked if I would come along as one of her assistants. Talk about FUN! I got to hold the light reflector thingy, help make suggestions for posing, even help with propping some photos.
(I won't post any of those pictures here since they are neither my work nor my image, but I'll say this: They are gorgeous. I really believe my friend has a future in the photography business!)
So as to make the most of her time in the studio, whenever S was changing outfits, myself and the other assistant would pose for some fun photos, just for added practice for J. The results were funny, but well photo-graphed!
It was really significant for me, since there aren't many photos of me from the past year. The biggest collection is from Baby Belle's baptism, at which point I weighed about 30 - 35lbs more than I do now. I've lost track of what I actually look like now, and it's easy to forget about what I've actually accomplished in my weight-loss goals. I too often get caught up in what I'd still like to work on, and forget to celebrate having lost all my pregnancy weight plus an extra 25lbs! Seeing the photos she took helped to remind me that I've come a long way, and I'm actually looking pretty good - even while I wait to lose 10 more pounds and have my hair grow back! :)
Monday, June 4, 2012
Back At It
Weekly weigh-ins? Kinda gross. It's not so much that I'm concerned with the actual number on the scale (because I know, I know, I KNOW that muscle mass is heavy, and I want more muscle mass), but I know that the reality of having to get on a scale at a set time is something that motivates me during the week. It's more the fear of seeing an increase, than an overwhelming desire to see a decrease. Does that make sense? I know when I pig out and eat garbage and lots of salt, my weight goes up quickly. But when I eat well, my weight goes down a little, or at least stays at a happy place. My scale is just a battery-operated conscience.
Monday, June 4th - 125.6lbs
Breakfast: Scrambled eggs (whisked with coconut milk) and kale cooked in ghee, with two cups of half-decaf with coconut milk and a tiny bit of honey.
Lunch: Ugh. Leftovers. And not the good kind. Let's just say it involved a small piece of the kids' homemade (gluten-free) pepperoni pizza from Saturday.
Snack: DCQT. (Dark Chocolate Quiet Time. That means I sit and savour a square of dark chocolate for a ridiculously long time while the three kids nap. This often happens on days when I'm extra tired.)
Supper: Hot Italian sausages fried in coconut oil, with a side of oven-roasted cauliflower with olive oil. We were supposed to have guacamole with supper, but I've been having the worst luck with avocados lately! I cut into four today, and all of them were still too hard to mash, but they were already bad inside! Argh.
It was a weird day. My house is a disaster, and I have to give a talk tomorrow night that isn't written yet. But still, instead of working on those things, I sat down at my sewing machine. Last week I made a skirt while avoiding talk-writing, this week I took in a black strapless dress I wore like CRAZY last summer. Just one of those Old Navy jersey numbers. Nothing fancy, but it was such a great little just-throw-it-on-and-go, dress-it-up-or-down, easy-peasy dress. I loved that the elasticized strapless-ness of it made it a breeze for nursing Baby Belle. (Under a nursing cover, of course. I'm not really a whip-it-out kind of breastfeeder.) In addition to the dress getting taken in, I finally got around to altering a plaid skirt I bought about six weeks ago at the thrift store. The pattern is adorable, and it fit perfectly in the waist. But it was about three inches past my knees, and a frumpy kind of stiff A-line. I took it in and hemmed it up, and now I have a plaid pencil skirt. Go me! And now I really must get at that talk, or the girls are going to be mighty P.O.ed tomorrow night!
Monday, June 4th - 125.6lbs
Breakfast: Scrambled eggs (whisked with coconut milk) and kale cooked in ghee, with two cups of half-decaf with coconut milk and a tiny bit of honey.
Lunch: Ugh. Leftovers. And not the good kind. Let's just say it involved a small piece of the kids' homemade (gluten-free) pepperoni pizza from Saturday.
Snack: DCQT. (Dark Chocolate Quiet Time. That means I sit and savour a square of dark chocolate for a ridiculously long time while the three kids nap. This often happens on days when I'm extra tired.)
Supper: Hot Italian sausages fried in coconut oil, with a side of oven-roasted cauliflower with olive oil. We were supposed to have guacamole with supper, but I've been having the worst luck with avocados lately! I cut into four today, and all of them were still too hard to mash, but they were already bad inside! Argh.
It was a weird day. My house is a disaster, and I have to give a talk tomorrow night that isn't written yet. But still, instead of working on those things, I sat down at my sewing machine. Last week I made a skirt while avoiding talk-writing, this week I took in a black strapless dress I wore like CRAZY last summer. Just one of those Old Navy jersey numbers. Nothing fancy, but it was such a great little just-throw-it-on-and-go, dress-it-up-or-down, easy-peasy dress. I loved that the elasticized strapless-ness of it made it a breeze for nursing Baby Belle. (Under a nursing cover, of course. I'm not really a whip-it-out kind of breastfeeder.) In addition to the dress getting taken in, I finally got around to altering a plaid skirt I bought about six weeks ago at the thrift store. The pattern is adorable, and it fit perfectly in the waist. But it was about three inches past my knees, and a frumpy kind of stiff A-line. I took it in and hemmed it up, and now I have a plaid pencil skirt. Go me! And now I really must get at that talk, or the girls are going to be mighty P.O.ed tomorrow night!
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Blogs About Clothes
I've suddenly gotten really into clothes. I mean really into clothes. As in I shop clearance racks and thrift stores like it's a competitive sport. And I dress up at home for no reason. The kids always look at me funny and ask, "Where are we going, Mommy?" Um, nowhere. Sometimes, it's fun to wear heels, even if the only people who see me in them are under four feet tall.
I thought I'd share a few of the blogs that have been feeding my obsession.
How Not to Dress Like a Mom is one of my favourites so far. Not only is the author a Canadian AND named Jacqueline (just the more fancy-schmancy version of MY name), but she's sarcastic and hilarious. Just the way I like to think I am
My Thrifty Closet is one I've only just recently discovered, but I have skimmed through a lot of her archives. I love her easy style, and they way she combines clothes. Plus her accessories are never over-the-top like so many other fashion bloggers. Also, she's a SAHM, and so we're kind of the same. Except she lives on the other side of the world and she has a build my child-bearing hips and line-backer shoulders can only dream of.
La Vie Petite. She's stinking adorable. Honestly, I wish I could just steal her wardrobe. Except that she wears a 00P pants. Um, how about one pair for my left leg and one pair for my right? But I love that she's short, so it gives me a great idea of what kind of looks I can pull off at my height. (FYI she's 4' 10 & 3/4". I'm about 5' 2".)
Wearing it On My Sleeves is one of the first I started following. She's also how I discovered the whole world of Mormon fashion bloggers (who knew there was such a niche?!). She's eclectic and gorgeous and I aspire to have her courage with colours and styles.
Creamy kind of freaks me out. That woman can wear some crazy heels! I only wish I could get away with shoes like that - or that I'd even have places to wear shoes like that! Again, there's just something I enjoy about her style, even though most of her combinations would look awful on me. (She's a tall, skinny blonde. I'm a short, non-skinny bald woman.)
Since I've also recently gotten really interested in sewing, I'm totally intrigued by the possibilities of refashioning clothes. I'm starting small - taking some shirts in (rather than always replacing things as they get too big), making a few simple items from scratch, and starting my first real refashion. (My dad's XL shirt into something for me. I'll post photos when it's done, even if it's a giant craftfail.) I've found two different blogs written by women who have taken up the challenge of refashioning something new every day for a year.
Refashionista is the one who first really got me interested in clothing refashioning. Some of her transitions are really inventive, but they also seem pretty accessible, even for a novice like me.
New Dress A Day is also really enjoyable, and I love that she has reader submissions. The one thing that kills me about both of these blogs is that the stuff they're making-over is generally around $1 or less. If I had access to clothes for that cheap I'd feel a lot gutsier about hacking into things. I even went to Value Village once with the intention of buying ugly things to re-do - but I walked out of there with several already-awesome items. I just don't want to spend $6 and risk having it bomb!
So there you go! A few things that have piqued my interest and sparked my creativity. What about you? Do you think much about your style? Anyone whose look inspires you?
I thought I'd share a few of the blogs that have been feeding my obsession.
How Not to Dress Like a Mom is one of my favourites so far. Not only is the author a Canadian AND named Jacqueline (just the more fancy-schmancy version of MY name), but she's sarcastic and hilarious. Just the way I like to think I am
My Thrifty Closet is one I've only just recently discovered, but I have skimmed through a lot of her archives. I love her easy style, and they way she combines clothes. Plus her accessories are never over-the-top like so many other fashion bloggers. Also, she's a SAHM, and so we're kind of the same. Except she lives on the other side of the world and she has a build my child-bearing hips and line-backer shoulders can only dream of.
La Vie Petite. She's stinking adorable. Honestly, I wish I could just steal her wardrobe. Except that she wears a 00P pants. Um, how about one pair for my left leg and one pair for my right? But I love that she's short, so it gives me a great idea of what kind of looks I can pull off at my height. (FYI she's 4' 10 & 3/4". I'm about 5' 2".)
Wearing it On My Sleeves is one of the first I started following. She's also how I discovered the whole world of Mormon fashion bloggers (who knew there was such a niche?!). She's eclectic and gorgeous and I aspire to have her courage with colours and styles.
Creamy kind of freaks me out. That woman can wear some crazy heels! I only wish I could get away with shoes like that - or that I'd even have places to wear shoes like that! Again, there's just something I enjoy about her style, even though most of her combinations would look awful on me. (She's a tall, skinny blonde. I'm a short, non-skinny bald woman.)
Since I've also recently gotten really interested in sewing, I'm totally intrigued by the possibilities of refashioning clothes. I'm starting small - taking some shirts in (rather than always replacing things as they get too big), making a few simple items from scratch, and starting my first real refashion. (My dad's XL shirt into something for me. I'll post photos when it's done, even if it's a giant craftfail.) I've found two different blogs written by women who have taken up the challenge of refashioning something new every day for a year.
Refashionista is the one who first really got me interested in clothing refashioning. Some of her transitions are really inventive, but they also seem pretty accessible, even for a novice like me.
New Dress A Day is also really enjoyable, and I love that she has reader submissions. The one thing that kills me about both of these blogs is that the stuff they're making-over is generally around $1 or less. If I had access to clothes for that cheap I'd feel a lot gutsier about hacking into things. I even went to Value Village once with the intention of buying ugly things to re-do - but I walked out of there with several already-awesome items. I just don't want to spend $6 and risk having it bomb!
So there you go! A few things that have piqued my interest and sparked my creativity. What about you? Do you think much about your style? Anyone whose look inspires you?
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Tuesday, May 29th
Here's the scoop on yesterday:
Breakfast - Sauteed kale and scrambled eggs. Two cups of half-decaf with coconut milk and cinnamon.
Snack - Homemade granola bar (Yummy, butnot a good choice!)
Lunch - Coconut curry cabbage and three homemade Paleo chicken strips. Hadn't planned on eating chicken strips, but two out of three kids decided they weren't in the mood for chicken, so I ate their rejects.
Supper - Roast chicken, roasted broccoli and cauliflower, and a handful of potato wedges (the wedges were definitely not a good choice - they were most definitely an emotionally-driven choice).
Evening snack - Small bowl of strawberries, and two small cookies. (I made them much smaller than what the recipe called for. They would have been too big otherwise.)
Exercise - Early morning "run". I've restarted my learn-to-run program after taking too much time off. A friend has decided to join me three days a week, so I'll have accountability to keep me going.
Today I've had a huge to-do list, and a combination of procrastination-overload, and an uncooperative/napless baby. Tonight is the kick-off for the young women's ministry I'm starting in our parish, and my talk still. isn't. finished. I've just run out of steam! Yet I managed to find time to make myself a new skirt this morning, so at least I'll look cute while I'm unprepared. (This is why I keep my sewing area in the kids' playroom.)
Today's food:
Breakfast: Leftover coconut curry chicken & veggies, two cups of half-decaf with coconut milk and cinnamon.
Lunch - Same as yesterday.
Supper - "Spaghetti" (with spaghetti squash instead of pasta).
Snacks - Three of those cookies from yesterday. I'm glad they're out of the house now!
I'm going to experiment with intermittent fasting. The plan is to limit myself to a 10-hour "eating window". (In my opinion, it's the least drastic form of IF - lots of people do it and just call it "not eating after supper".) I know the evenings are prime time for mindless snacking, so if I make a point to "fast" between supper and breakfast, I can hopefully learn to break that habit of mindless munching. I expect I'll have to learn to beef up my breakfasts a little more, but that'll just be yummy.
Breakfast - Sauteed kale and scrambled eggs. Two cups of half-decaf with coconut milk and cinnamon.
Snack - Homemade granola bar (Yummy, butnot a good choice!)
Lunch - Coconut curry cabbage and three homemade Paleo chicken strips. Hadn't planned on eating chicken strips, but two out of three kids decided they weren't in the mood for chicken, so I ate their rejects.
Supper - Roast chicken, roasted broccoli and cauliflower, and a handful of potato wedges (the wedges were definitely not a good choice - they were most definitely an emotionally-driven choice).
Evening snack - Small bowl of strawberries, and two small cookies. (I made them much smaller than what the recipe called for. They would have been too big otherwise.)
Exercise - Early morning "run". I've restarted my learn-to-run program after taking too much time off. A friend has decided to join me three days a week, so I'll have accountability to keep me going.
Today I've had a huge to-do list, and a combination of procrastination-overload, and an uncooperative/napless baby. Tonight is the kick-off for the young women's ministry I'm starting in our parish, and my talk still. isn't. finished. I've just run out of steam! Yet I managed to find time to make myself a new skirt this morning, so at least I'll look cute while I'm unprepared. (This is why I keep my sewing area in the kids' playroom.)
Today's food:
Breakfast: Leftover coconut curry chicken & veggies, two cups of half-decaf with coconut milk and cinnamon.
Lunch - Same as yesterday.
Supper - "Spaghetti" (with spaghetti squash instead of pasta).
Snacks - Three of those cookies from yesterday. I'm glad they're out of the house now!
I'm going to experiment with intermittent fasting. The plan is to limit myself to a 10-hour "eating window". (In my opinion, it's the least drastic form of IF - lots of people do it and just call it "not eating after supper".) I know the evenings are prime time for mindless snacking, so if I make a point to "fast" between supper and breakfast, I can hopefully learn to break that habit of mindless munching. I expect I'll have to learn to beef up my breakfasts a little more, but that'll just be yummy.
Monday, May 28, 2012
Changing it Up
I've decided to change the focus of this blog. Since ending my Whole30, not only has a lot changed for me, but it seemed funny to have such a narrowly-focused blog.
My eating and fitness have both been through some ups and downs since completing the Whole30, but my husband and I have recently made a commitment to a Primal diet, following Mark Sisson's approach of 80% strict eating, 20% "treats". (I really hate referring to off-plan foods as "cheat" meals. Can't we just stop moralizing food?) The problem is that I have a hard time with staying on this plan without some sort of accountability. We agreed that we'd both keep a food log (which the other person is allowed to check out) to help us stick to the 80% and enjoy the 20%. I figure I may as well keep that log here. I'll keep track of my fitness efforts here as well. Maybe this will help keep me on track!
I've also found that as a result of losing weight and hair, I'm completely changing the way I see myself physically, including the way I dress. I've been spending some time reading some really great "fashion" blogs, and doing a fair bit of thrift-store-shopping. I've been wearing things I never would have considered wearing before losing this weight. And, surprisingly, having very little hair has made me more adventurous as well. I figure people are already staring at me, so why not wear a giant pair of earrings or a bright purple dress? From time to time I'll post photos of outfits/accessories to get your opinions on them.
And, mostly, I hope to be able to record some reflections of my thoughts and feelings through all of this. I keep thinking about the fact that I'm the same age Jesus was when he died. Since turning 33, I feel like I've been going through a sort of re-birth in my identity as well. (Heck, on my birthday in February I still had all my hair!)
I'm not sure whether this will make this blog more or less interesting, but at this point I'm writing mostly for my own sake - to keep track of what is going on with me right now. If anyone keeps reading, that'll be a big ol' bonus.
My eating and fitness have both been through some ups and downs since completing the Whole30, but my husband and I have recently made a commitment to a Primal diet, following Mark Sisson's approach of 80% strict eating, 20% "treats". (I really hate referring to off-plan foods as "cheat" meals. Can't we just stop moralizing food?) The problem is that I have a hard time with staying on this plan without some sort of accountability. We agreed that we'd both keep a food log (which the other person is allowed to check out) to help us stick to the 80% and enjoy the 20%. I figure I may as well keep that log here. I'll keep track of my fitness efforts here as well. Maybe this will help keep me on track!
I've also found that as a result of losing weight and hair, I'm completely changing the way I see myself physically, including the way I dress. I've been spending some time reading some really great "fashion" blogs, and doing a fair bit of thrift-store-shopping. I've been wearing things I never would have considered wearing before losing this weight. And, surprisingly, having very little hair has made me more adventurous as well. I figure people are already staring at me, so why not wear a giant pair of earrings or a bright purple dress? From time to time I'll post photos of outfits/accessories to get your opinions on them.
And, mostly, I hope to be able to record some reflections of my thoughts and feelings through all of this. I keep thinking about the fact that I'm the same age Jesus was when he died. Since turning 33, I feel like I've been going through a sort of re-birth in my identity as well. (Heck, on my birthday in February I still had all my hair!)
I'm not sure whether this will make this blog more or less interesting, but at this point I'm writing mostly for my own sake - to keep track of what is going on with me right now. If anyone keeps reading, that'll be a big ol' bonus.
Saturday, May 12, 2012
"It's Not So Bad"
I’m not sure what I can write that would do justice to what I experienced last night, but I need to get something down, to remember a little of what I felt.
To say that I felt supported and loved is an understatement. The outpouring of comments, emails and messages from friends on Facebook was touching, and the community of women who gathered around me last night showed me what real beauty is. One dear friend even offered to shave her head with me, just so I wouldn’t feel alone – just so she could carry this burden with me.
They brought flowers, and notes of prayer and encouragement. We ate, drank and made merry. And when the time came to shave my head, they gathered around and buoyed my spirits with their joy.
For all your prayers and messages – I thank you. I held all your kindness in my heart throughout the evening, and it gave me strength. God’s grace was abundant in that kitchen and in my heart last night!
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