Day 24 of 40 - An "Aha" Moment

I was lucky enough to have a day to myself today, so after clearing out room in the laundry room for the new freezer and doing a few loads of laundry, I decided to throw in an exercise video. Since I know I should be taking it easy (somewhat...), I've recently traded in my favourite DVD trainer for my second favourite. At one point in the video I was doing, she says, "If you want results, you're going to have to earn them!"

Wow.

Is it weird that that statement hit me like a ton of bricks?

It wasn't the first time I've done this workout, so it's not the first time I've heard her say that. But I guess today I was just ready to hear it, and it struck me in a particular way.

See, here's the thing: All my life, so many things have just come easily for me. School was a piece of cake. (Oh shoot, now I want cake... Sorry.) I was put ahead a grade, and still remained at the top of my class throughout the grade-school years, without putting in much effort. (Translation: I rarely did homework, rarely studied for tests/exams, and generally started projects the night before they were due.) Because academics just came naturally to me, I didn't have to earn my results.

In university I studied music. I'd been playing saxophone since I was nine, and that was yet another thing that came easily for me. The problem was, I had never learned the discipline required to practice as much as I needed to, because I was just naturally good enough to be the best all through junior and senior high school. I'll never forget my very last private lesson with my saxophone professor. I played one of my favourite ballads, and at the end he turned around from the piano and said, "F%$k you. You don't deserve to play that beautifully." It was true. I hadn't earned it.

I have this issue in so many areas, and today I realized that I still struggle with this in the realm of health and fitness as well. I don't really put in the work that I would need to in order to see the results I'd like to see. I'm not as disciplined about watching my unnecessary carbs (ahem *dates*), nor do I put in the effort in regards to exercise either.

I'm hoping that at least realizing this will make me more mindful about putting in the work. Today I noticed a huge difference in my stamina - I was able to work harder and longer, with fewer breaks. I think my body is really hitting its stride in terms of the Whole30 benefits, and I also wonder if weaning Baby Belle and having my body all to myself for the first time in over five years makes a difference. In any case, I'm going to be more aware from now on that if I want to see results, I actually need to earn them.

Breakfast: Kale, eggs, cherry tomatoes and licorice tea.
Lunch: A rib wrap. I tried out Dr. Davis' recipe for a flax meal wrap from Wheat Belly. It was actually decent. (It's one of the recipes that doesn't call for any artificial sweeteners, so I was keen to try it.) I stuffed it with some of the leftover rib meat from last night and some extra barbeque sauce.
Supper: A fajita bowl. I cooked the chicken, peppers and onions with some homemade fajita seasoning, then served it over a bed of mixed greens and topped it with salsa and guacamole. Super delicious!
Snacks: Too. Many. Snack balls. And an extra cup of tea.